The other attendants went gown shopping with Jen at David’s Bridal on Saturday. I missed out because I went to a wedding in San Francisco. So at least I got my wedding fix. I did get a chance to talk to her between the ceremony and banquet. She said she tried on 8 dresses. The one she liked before heading in was not The One. She wanted to know what she should buy because the 15% off is only valid on the day you purchase your gown. That is how they get you, I guess. I told her to get the petticoat because it’s only $50. The veil is more expensive so I would look online for a better deal. She wants one with pearls but mine has crystals. She has her shoes already, and is borrowing my tiara, if she decides to have one. The other maids also tried on a few dresses.

Photos to be posted later.

I have a bunch of posts that are drafted, but none are complete. Sooooo, let get updated on what’s going on with the Wong Wedding.

The application for the church is in. As soon as they get an okay, then it is for sure booked.

The girls are hoping to help Jen go dress shopping soon, maybe this weekend. She has an idea of what she wants, but you never know until “The Dress” is put on.

I put together a newsletter so that the bridal party will keep updated on what’s going on. The first issue to go out is a “Who’s Who?” so that The Party will get to know each other a bit.

That’s all the updating because the Little One is up from nap.

We met Aaron’s family last Sunday to celebrate Jen and Aaron’s engagement. His parents hosted the dinner at Daimo Chinese Restaurant in San Leandro. We met his mom and dad; his older sister Cheryl, her husband Steve, and their daughter Sami; and his 2nd older sister Andrea and her boyfriend Hank. And of course, joining the dinner were our mom and dad; our older sister Peggy and her husband Henry; me and my husband Norman and daughters Melody and Emily; and our younger brother Eric. We enjoyed some delicious food. I think our table did pretty well with 3 kids. Afterwards we headed to the Wong home just up the hill from us in Castro Valley. We had fruit salad, rice krispy treats, and cheesecake. The flowergirls-to-be tried to play with each other, but surprisingly Melody wasn’t the shy-er kid this time. It was a good time getting to know the family. Hopefully, there will be more opportunities to get together. To think, a little more than a decade ago, we were all attending school together.

The menu for the night chosen by Aaron’s mom:
Assorted seafood with tofu soup
Honey barbecued spareribs
Fish fillet with seasonal greens
Walnut prawns
Fried rice
Beef briskets in hoisin sauce
Red bean soup/Guilinggao

So it looks like our church, First Presbyterian Church of Hayward (in Castro Valley), might be the one for Jen and Aaron. It doesn’t fit their original criteria totally, but it fits their budget. It seems like a lot of churches are in the $1,000+ price range, and you have to give an honorarium to their pastor even if you don’t choose them as your officiant.

Pros

• close to home
• affordable
• know the space (Norm leads worship so he’s familiar with the sound, etc.)
• use own officiant
• large space

Cons

• a little dark
• not a scenic location

Jen met with First Pres’ wedding coordinator last Wednesday to discuss further details. I did see her on Saturday, but we didn’t really get a chance to talk, so we’ve been playing phone tag these past few days.

Need to post…kids got me busy so list is incomplete.

Aaron’s parents will be having an engagement party of sorts in a week and a half. It will be a meeting of the two families. The parents have already met, and the siblings attended the same school, but we’ve never all gotten together before. Aaron’s two older sisters are each a year ahead of our older sister Peggy and me. I think the two little flowergirls-to-be, Sami (Cheryl (Aaron’s oldest sister)’s daughter) and Melody (my daughter) will have a fun time meeting. We will be gathering at Daimo in San Leandro on Sunday, August 16 at 6PM.

Jen and Aaron attended the same school growing, from elementary school to middle school to high school. Here are the lovebirds in Bowling Club at John Muir Middle School. They stood next to each other for the club photo!! (I’m the girl above Jen, and I think she was also standing next to Aaron’s cousin Brandon.)

The average wedding costs $27,800 (according to theknot.com), and in most large urban areas it costs more. After we got married the whole wedding industry seemed to have taken off. Everything became a big show and there had to be a huge wow factor. Some couples go into debt choosing the top vendors.

After calculating some costs and seeing how much everyone will put in, Jen and Aaron’s budget came out to be $32,000, which is the same as our budget 4 years ago. Hopefully, we will look into how to DIY a few things…like boutonnieres which costs up to $15 each!! I’m certain in less than a year someone can learn to use floral tape to put together a rose and some baby’s breath. I’m sure there are many other ways to save some money and still have the wedding of your dreams.

A few websites offer budgeting tools to keep track of your budget, but the best detailed breakdown I found was from Today’s Bride magazine. I just plugged in the percentages to be calculated into Microsoft Excel (nerd!) and added a few custom items, like Chinese qipao. Voila! It doesn’t always come out to what’s allotted for certain items, but gives a couple a general idea of about how much they should be spending on a cake, or transportation, etc. And to quote Jen, “I didn’t know a bouquet costs that much!?!”

It is not strictly a black tie wedding, but it will for the most part by a shirt and tie event. Do not expect too many shenanagians at Jen and Aaron’s wedding. They’re just there to tie the knot and celebrate with family and friends.

These past 2 1/2 years as a stay-at-home mommy of 2, my main duties include a lot of changing of diapers and picking up of toys (also lots of hugging and laughing too). I have helped several friends plan/coordinate their weddings…does 3 count as “several” or is it “a few” or “a couple”? Anyhow, I’ve helped out others in wedding, so marking items off the checklist (which I have an unhealthy obsession with) is routine. But this time around I get to be in the wedding…and as an honor attendant.

Let’s just say I’ll take my new “job” seriuosly. There has already been little “bumps” on the road, and I hear I’ll have to be there to help the bride-to-be keep sane. As planner/coordinator…and even as a guest at weddings, I’ve notice that some attendants are really at a loss as to what to do besides smile and look pretty. You hear of bridesmaids who complain about how the dresses look, what events will take place before or during the wedding, etc. Dude, get over it, it’s not your day. The bride chose you for a reason.

So anyhow (you’ll notice I use this word a lot!), since I like to compile checklists, here’s what my new duties look like:

Prewedding

• Help bride shop for gown
• Help bride shop for bridesmaids’ dresses
• Spread word about couple’s registry
• Coordinate bridesmaids’ dress order, payment, fittings, and dressing
• Plan shower and/or bachelorette party
• Keep record of party/shower gifts (or delegate to bridesmaid)
• Offer assistance with planning tasks
• Arrange bridesmaids’ travel and lodging
• Create a wedding-day emergency kit
• Attend rehearsal dinner
• Organize bridesmaids on wedding day

At ceremony

• Walk down aisle directly before the bride (if no flower girl)
• Adjust bride’s train at altar
• Hold her bouquet during the vows
• Carry groom’s wedding ring
• Walk in recessional with best man
• Organize programs, tossing petals, and so on
• Sign marriage license as a witness

At reception

• May stand in receiving line
• Help bride bustle her gown
• May sit at head table next to groom
• Make sure bride gets something to eat
• May MC or make toast to the couple
• Help “host” party (make introductions, get people dancing, and so on)
• Dance with best man during first dance (if wedding party is involved)
• Help direct vendors—caterer, photographer, band—as needed

Postwedding

• Help organize postreception party
• Help take care of gifts and gift checks brought to the reception
• Take bride’s gown to the dry cleaner

Other

• Lend an ear
• Troubleshoot emotional crisis
• Keep the bride laughing